Friday, August 21, 2009

An Analysis of a Beyoncé Hater

Hello all out there in the world of divas and single ladies.
I wanted to talk about the woman we know as Beyoncé. I dig Beyoncé, she’s not necessarily one of my faves, but I give the girl her credit. With that said, I’ve come across a myriad of haters. They seem to come in drones whenever Beyoncé is doing something. I’ve sat back and analyzed them, and I think I’ve got them down. So here’s my profile analysis of the Beyoncé hater:
Basic Info

Name: Beyoncé hater


DOB: June 24, 2003

Age: fetus – death

Weight: let’s keep it cute

Height: 4’11 – 6’3

Aliases: [irrelevant female artist] fan/stan

Favorite music: anything but Beyoncé including but not limited to Alicia Keys, Brandy, Khia, Mandy Moore, Olivia Newton-John, Madonna, Mary Wells, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and Anne Murray

Favorite Films: Mama I Just Want To Sing, Coach Carter, Double Platinum

Synopsis


To quote Beyoncéitis in a loose interpretation, “only attractive gay men like Beyoncé. Unattractive gay men prefer other artists."

Here we have conflicting reports. Black gay men love Beyoncé, attractive ones that is. White gay men like Madonna and think Britney Spears has talent. But for the demographic, we will talk about black men and women, both straight and gay.

The female Beyoncé hater is often unattractive, a platinum plus member of the itty bitty titty committee, and has a bad case of halitosis. She is often seen wearing denim skorts, peep toe Candies, and low grade outré premium yaki. The female hater is often a fan of a female artist who happens to be a Beyoncéitis casualty: Ashanti, Monica, Brandy, Mya, etc. Or perhaps a fan of who they think is “real” artist that makes “real” music such as Jazmine Sullivan, Chrisette Michele, Mary J. Blige, etc. The female hater thinks everything about Beyoncé is fake. Her hair, nails, personality, rib cage, etc.

The male Beyoncé hater is usually a fan of an 80s diva most youth wouldn’t know today such as Stephanie Mills, Patrice Rushen, or Teena Marie. And not even a fan of one of the bad ones like Janet, Whitney, or Sade. The male hater often finds it necessary to compare their 80s diva to Beyoncé whenever Beyoncé has something good going for her. A clear sign of insecurity if you ask me. The male Beyoncé hater is like the female. (S)He is often a fan of another Beyoncéitis victim, in addition to the 80s diva. His hate is more out of jealousy because he secretly desires his favorite artist to see the success Beyoncé is enjoying.

Common Excuses/Scapegoats

Beyoncé wins an award:

“Matthew must’ve paid for it. You know he’s on the Grammy board of voters.”
Beyoncé’s fan base increases:“

Only gays and women like her. They’re the majority.”

Beyoncé’s albums sell:

“Matthew must be buying up those albums.”

A Beyoncé song on the charts:

“LOL! Beyoncé can’t even make it into the Top 50.” [the song makes it into the Top 50] “LOL! Beyoncé can’t even make it into the Top 10.” [the song makes it into the Top 10] “LOL! Beyoncé can’t even make it to #1” [the song makes it to #1] “I wonder how much Matthew is paying the radio stations to play that crap.”

Beyoncé gets songwriting credit:

“She doesn’t write. She steals. She adds the word 'the', and she gets songwriting credit. *eye roll* That’s why Ne-Yo called her out on Irreplaceable.”

The general gist is that Matthew is the driving force behind her career. He buys her awards, participates in payola, and makes all the money. If Matthew did buy her awards, wouldn’t she have almost every award possible? Wouldn’t she have her Oscar and her Tony? Is it her fault the closest their faves will come to the Academy Awards in an online stream from their Acer laptops?

The Beyoncé hater will go to great lengths to find something hate on.





The hate includes, but is not limited to: singing, dancing, performing, wardrobe, hair, make up, knitting skills, DNA make up, skeletal structure, or the way she places the napkins in the glove compartment. They will complain about her eyelashes not being perpendicular to her sternum.
When Beyoncé falls short on something, i.e. not selling out 100%, they’ll use the “I thought she was the #1 diva in this game” line to justify their hate. Speaking of selling out, whenever Beyoncé gets positive reviews, sells out 100%, or sets/breaks a record for selling tickets, the Beyoncé hater will find a way to hate by saying something along the lines of “well she can’t selling out like so-and-so”. *snaps for the kids for the irrelevance*

Speaking of Forbes, (I know no one was talking about Forbes but whatever) the Beyoncé hater is often silent during these times. When the list(s) are released, Beyoncé is usually in the Top 10, but as of late, Top 5. It is here where the Beyoncé hater has to scramble for something hate on. They’ll find House of Deréon’s profits from the last quarter, Google some hate, or bring up something from the past such as the falling down the steps, the Destiny’s Child scandal, or even the fight she and Kelly had over who gets the last Church’s biscuit back in 1995. The first move is they’ll say “she has to do those things to make up for it with her poor album sales.” Usually that doesn’t work because it’s been used before. Next, they’ll say…well after that they don’t really have anything to say. And when all else fails, they’ll compare to her the person who is #1 on Forbes that year (which is usually Oprah).

However the Beyoncé hater does come in handy at times. You can always count on the Beyoncé hater to find out something about Beyoncé of which the fan was unaware. Did you know a Beyoncé hater found Beyoncé’s medical records and noticed she missed a hepatitis shot when she was 4 years old? She also failed to turn in her double-digit math homework back on March 8, 1994. And not only that, she filed her taxes late in 2004. You can depend on the Beyoncé hater to know her every move. He/she keeps up with Beyoncé more than the fans do. If you ever need a 60 second recap of Beyoncé’s life in the past 24 hours, the Beyoncé hater is your go-to guy. ;-)

Whenever their faves release a song, it’s always going to “shut down the game,” and/or “end Beyoncé’s career”. And when the song fails to even make the Amazon.com chart, the Beyoncé hater will also use another artists accomplishments to try and hate. They will milk another artist of relevance to not look stupid whenever their faves fall short.

Example:

Beyoncé hater: this new Adina Howard is about to end Beyoncé’s career.

*some weeks past by*

Beyoncé fan: so what happened to that Adina Howard song?

Beyoncé hater: Matthew paid the radio stations not to play it so “Sweet Dreams” would get all the airplay. Because he’s shady like that. You see what happened with Kelly leaving Music World. But that’s okay, Beyoncé better watch out for Mariah’s “Obsessed”. LOL Beyoncé will never be Mariah.

The purpose of the hate is to somehow belittle the blessings Beyoncé has bestowed upon us. The idea is to not give credit where credit is due. Unfortunately it may take her untimely passing before she gets it. Though some hate has seen little impact, most hate has been rather unsuccessful like Fantasy Ride. Whenever the hate is thick, it manages to backfire and Beyoncé is taken to another level (no passenegers on her plane, by the way). The hate possibly stems from jealousy, resentment, having nothing else to do, and just recreational hating. The projections for the next 10 years are only expected to increase. The House of Deréon projected 50 million haters by the year 2012. However as Beyoncé continues to grow, the numbers will increase drastically. So in closing, going around to different boards and seeing comments on different blogs, it’s almost impossible to get a complete analysis of the Beyoncé hater because the hate comes in various forms:

http://hateonbey.blogspot.com/


http://weallhateonbeyonce.blogspot.com/

Apperciate someone while they're here...

A fans Take on Janet Jackson

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whatever time of day it is when you read this. Let me just first start off by saying that I don't expect many of you to take this seriously. This is just a means for me to express my admiration for Janet Jackson...and to share my life experiences under the blessings of Janhova. However some are bound to get pressed. We'll just ignore them and let them get frustrated behind their Toshiba's and Hughes Net Wi-Fi. I am your average college student with too much time on my hands. And with school out for the semester, I really don't have anything to do. Grades? Well at a black school, your grades are posted whenever the professor decides to push away from the bar, and get back to the office to submit your grades.


Anywho, hello. *happy face* As you can see I love Janet Jackson. For the sake of my laziness, I’ll refer to Janet Jackson as Janhova. Yeah I could just call her Janet, but that’s so cliché. Ever since I stepped my K-Mart game up from Mossimo to Faded Glory, I’ve been rather saditty. Ordering off the $1.29 menu at Taco Bell, rather than the $0.99 menu at that tired Taco Mac, walking around with Starbucks cups…you know the stuff the working class does to look important. So yes, like I said I love Janhova. Why you may ask? I really don’t feel like answering this, but since my violin recital isn’t for another few hours I guess I have time:


First and foremost, Janet is a great person.


Yes, she called her ex-choreographer a stupid bitch repeatedly in one of her songs. But hey, who hasn’t? Just look at the medical records of all of Naomi Campbell’s past employees. And yes Janet has pistoled whipped LaToya a few times. But then again LaToya shouldn’t have taken the last Church’s biscuit at the Jackson Family Reunion. But in all seriousness, Janet is a great person. Throughout her career, you have never heard any reports of Janet being a demanding diva. She has never bragged about her success, or let her success go to her head like Mariah’s did after The Emancipation of Mimi was released. She even donates to charitable organizations, whilst her brothers’ homes go into foreclosure. She’s a lady who has displayed poise, elegance, and grace for the past 36 years.


Janet makes great music.

Where do we start? Control? Velvet Rope? Janet: Remixed? Nahn, let’s start with Janet’s best album to date….Dream Street. Where would Janet be without this album? On an escapade? Lost in disturbia? A better place is for damn sure because without the lead single and “Pretty Boy,” that album is travelling down a boulevard of broken dreams. Janet has crafted some of the best songs this generation has seen. From teaching kids the importance of an education, to letting everyone know it’s okay to have sex in public. She’s always tackling the important issues. Her albums are a story book of life, making it easier to relate to her music. The need for control teenagers feel, the necessity to change the world with rhythm nation, or overcoming personal issues behind the velvet rope, Janet’s heart is always in the right place. She’s got a song about everything. A song about sex, she’s got it. A song about racism, she’s got it. A song about the nuclear proliferation of Iran, she’s got it.


Janet is a great artist.


There’s no deny her art. The way she combines R&B and Pop, Dance with Bluegrass, and Rap with Alternative Christian, remains unparalleled. Her music videos are among the best. I have yet to see a video today that can compare to the stage presence of Pleasure Principle. Nor has any female released a video that can send a population of 12 year olds into puberty. Janet pushed the envelope and broke barriers. Rhythm Nation 1814, and Velvet Rope were both ahead of their time. No one was bold enough to openly speak out about AIDS, S&M, homosexuality, depression like Janet did on Velvet Rope. The album was socially unacceptable, and Virgin wanted Janet to change the lyrics. A&M was sketchy about Rhythm Nation 1814. Never before had a pop artist expressed socially conscious issues in mainstream music. But she was a defiant little tramp. She told them hoez no. She even had Tina and Buckey keep the blades in their purses, and one under the lacefront just in case the record execs wanted to pop off at the mouth. Well, she got her way. And America got two practically flawless albums. We have seen artists like Usher, Britney, Beyoncé, Ciara stealing copying drawing inspiration from formulas used in Janet albums, artistry displayed in her videos, 8-counts, and overall etiquette. The fact that people are still looking to work she did while artists of today were still hooked on phonics is a testament of greatness.

Janet teaches you the necessities of life.


I’ve been a devout member of the Rhythm Nation since 1993, 16 years strong. I’ve been with Janet through thick, and thin, literally. She let’s you experience the ups and downs of life. When I see pictures of her driving her $100,000 Porsche, I look at my bus pass in a whole new light. I know that there are always going to be people who are better than me. Even when Janet makes stupid choices, I stand by her. As fans, stans, and fair-weather fans, we stand by Janet when she’s selling millions, and when she’s selling hundreds. All while teaching us that life isn’t always going to be riveting with excitement. Feast your eyes on this spectacle:



Take notice of Janet’s purse. When I see Janet rocking a $2000 Louis Vuitton handbag, I look at my $20 wallet from Loehmann's and learn to stand tall in my Wrangler jeans and Keds. It’s not everyday you see someone as fashion forward as such. She has taught her fans that she will always be more famous than us. She will always have more money than us. And lastly, she will always weigh more than us, and somehow manage to lose it three weeks before the video shoot.


Janet is an inspiration.

During the 80s, few black artists were slowly crossing over to the pop world. The almighty Michallah Jackson was the first to break the barrier for MTV to play black artists' videos. At this time Michael was still black, so he still had some credibility with the knee grows. It wasn't until 1986 that we saw a black female artist finally make it big in the pop world (well two if you count Godney Houston). Growing up, who didn't wanna be one of Janet's backup dancers? She has inspired a generation to dance. Her songs have encouraged nappy head chillun our youth to get back into school. For many young people, particularly blacks, Janet has been the model for success since the 70s. We saw a black woman taking chances, breaking down barriers, and opening doors for blacks in the industry. She is who record lables are molding their artists to become.Anywho, Janet’s birthday is coming up pretty soon, May 16th to be exact. Now some stans need to understand Janet’s birthday is not a nationally recognized holiday. Therefore please do not treat it as such. The last thing you want is to get fired from your job midway through the “If” breakdown. With May 16th afoot, I took the liberty of calling every Golden Corral in the tri-state area and warned the chef Janet may make a cameo. She’ll be accompanied by the Travelocity gnome. She’s going to be 43, and the media will be reporting her 13th pregnancy since last December.



So in closing, now you understand why there is so much admiration for Janhova Jackson. For the past 36 years she has been making her mark in music, movies, television, and more to come, if the hussy will ever get that lingerie line out. Becoming one of the best selling music artists in history, and the second most successful female artist behind beetlejuice Madonna. Maybe one day you’ll disown your favorite artist and step into the light…the light of our lawd and savoir Janhova Jackson.

Okay you guys I didn't write this one however I got {stole} this from Rhythmless Nation. I really think that this is really something that is so true about Janet Damita Jo Jackson.
Date Posted: May 2, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Sunshine in OUR Lives

Yes, I mean the sunshine in our lives. I'm not sure if we are really being told everything about Mr. Sun and trust me, you don't want him shining down on you too much these days.

Unfortunately, he's not just tanning us any more--he's also burning our skin for real. Sun exposure isn't always a healthy benefit for us all. I know we need the vitamin D it provides (in moderation) but ultraviolet light (UV) is the problem we have with the sun. It is an Invisible energy that can sometimes be harmful.

When UV rays enter the skin it can damage the skin cells. This can cause both visible or invisible injury. Results can be immediate as sun burn or it will just add up with results showing up later.And that is called unrepaired damaged skin. After twenty, thirty years or more it will create:

1) Wrinkles

2) Pigment spots

3) Precancerous lesions

4) Cancerous lesions on the uncovered skin's surface.

It has been found that the best time to (avoid) direct contact with the sun is midday. This is between 11:00am And 3:00pm daylight savings time. This is when sun rays are most intense. What you can do to protect you and the Sunshines in your life:

1) Add sunscreen (SPF) every 15 minutes. The Higher the (SPF) the better your skin is protected 50 (SPF) is Good

2) Hat, light clothing

3) It is also Wise to wear a shirt while SWiMMING!!!

Myth: That Sun Block / SunScreen will stop you from Tanning Thats NOT! True. You still Tan, it only protects your skin from outside and inside injury.
It's Only Because I Love You.

We all perish for a lack of knowledge.
Love
KweenBMzC

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Quote of the DAY


“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”
-Marcel Pagnol

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Quote of the DAY




''Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.''
-Dale Carnegie

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Quote of the DAY


“There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart…pursue those.”
-Michael Nolan

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Quote of the DAY


“Realize that ultimate success comes from opportunistic, bold move which by definition, cannot be planned.”
-Ross Johnson

Monday, August 3, 2009

WHAT DO YALL THINK OF THIS??

The Monetization of Mimi: Mariah CD To Have AdsBranding

By Becky Ebenkamp

As music sales continue to drop like they’re not so hot throughout the industry, Island Def Jam Music Group is jamming on a new business model: integrating brands into artists’ CD booklets.
The first deal, created for the Mariah Carey release Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel on Sept. 15, is a 34-page co-production with Elle magazine that includes lifestyle ads from Elizabeth Arden, Angel Champagne, Carmen Steffens, Le Métier de Beauté and the Bahamas Board of Tourism. Providing the experiment goes well, the label is eyeing bigger brand deals for booklets of CDs by Rihanna, Bon Jovi, Kanye West and other artists.

The mini magazine contains Mariah-centric editorial (“VIP Access to Her Sexy Love Life,” “Amazing Closet,” “Recording Rituals”) and lifestyle advertising along with lyrics and other CD booklet elements. Elle contributed the editorial and designed the layout.

The booklets were created for the first run of U.S. CDs (1 million) and the first 500,000 overseas, said Jeff Straughn, senior VP of strategic marketing for Island Def Jam Music Group. It will also be available in a digital format for those who buy music online. A condensed version of the Mariah mag, sans the 14 pages of CD-specific material, will be inserted into 500,000 subscription copies of Elle’s October issue, which arrives mid-September.

“The idea was really simple thinking: ‘We sell millions of records, so you should advertise with us,’” said Antonio “L.A.” Reid, chairman, Island Def Jam Music Group, a unit of Universal Music Group. “My artists have substantial circulation—when you sell 2 million, 5 million, 8 million, that’s a lot of eyeballs. Most magazines aren’t as successful as those records.”

Carey was “very open” to the concept when Reid showed her a mock-up of the booklet in a magazine format that included brand imagery synonymous with her lifestyle. “I wouldn’t want to do Mariah Carey and Comet abrasive cleaner,” Reid said, laughing. “I wanted things that really reflected her taste.”

Reid said the program was unprecedented. Terry Dry, president of Los Angeles-based digital-word-of-mouth marketing agency Fanscape, agreed, saying that the CD booklet advertising is a first, though he wouldn’t be surprised if more labels look into doing the same thing: “Hollywood Records [Disney], I know they love to monetize all over the place for something like a Jonas Brothers record. Open any rap record and a couple of inserts will come flying out, usually for a business the artist is a part of. I wouldn’t be surprised if 50 Cent had a Vitaminwater thing.”
Labels are looking for ways to eke out extra bucks, borrow equity and cut costs anywhere they can today. Year-to-date album sales were down 13.9 percent for the week ending July 19, 2009, compared with the period last year, according to Nielsen SoundScan (227 million units vs. 195.5 million units). Of those 2009 sales, 18.9 percent, or 41.9 million, were digital.

Ad revenues are subsidizing 100 percent of Island Records’ costs for the Carey booklet, but label execs also see the alliance as a way to expand distribution at a time when the local music store is becoming as rare as the Beatles’ Yesterday and Today LP with the “Butcher” cover.

“We don’t have music retailers any more, so a smart consumer products company that understands the value in distributing music is going to restore the vitality of our business,” Reid speculated. “If we distribute music properly and if it’s done tastef ully, it could be a huge profit center for all of us. That is the missing link—we need partnerships.”

To underscore the point: At one large retail establishment, partner Elizabeth Arden is allowing the label to cross-promote the release. The CD Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel will be merchandised directly outside Walmart’s music aisle with Carey’s new signature Arden fragrance, Forever, which has its ad on the booklet’s back cover. The CD and scent will also be displayed together in the beauty department.

– Nielsen Business Media

Quote of the DAY



“If you have to lie, cheat, and steal, you’re just not doing it right, … Success is a matter of tough, fair dealings without shortcuts.”
-Donald Trump

Saturday, August 1, 2009

LEICA X ANDRE X COLETTE C-LUX 3

IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A GOOD LITTLE QUALITY CAMERA THIS IS IT.
Leica x Andre x colette C-Lux 3

The Leica C-Lux 3 digital camera comes in a special collaborative version with Parisian artist Andre and colette. The camerca comes in black and white and features an illustration by the artist on the front. Each colorway is limited to only 30 pieces and will be available soon in the colette online store.

Quote of the DAY


“If you nurture your mind, body, and spirit, your time will expand. You will gain a new perspective that will allow you to accomplish much more.”

-Brian Koslow